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Turkey Day!

Posted on: 11/24/2011

May your turkey be juicy.

May your pies be plentiful.

May your pants be stretchy.

May your turkey comas be comfy.

May your travels all be as peaceful as this guy’s:

20111124-114009.jpg

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pooped

Posted on: 11/19/2010

I spent about three hours this afternoon doing this:


(I like the polka dot cupcake best. It looks like little pearls!)

There are also currently four 14-year-old girls in Sister’s room, which is LOCATED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE right next to my room. My lovely room which houses my lovely bed where I enjoy lovely sleep. Who wants to bet me the lovely sleep will skip out on our date tonight?

I’ve already had to run aforementioned girls out of here once. They were hiding behind the bed and in the closet. I’m not sure what their objective was, but I FOILED IT.

I am now ridiculously tired for 10 pm, so I will proceed to do my best Chad Dylan Cooper imitation: PEACE OUT, SUCKAS!

You know, Chad Dylan Cooper? From Sonny With A Chance? On the Disney Channel? Ringing any bells? 
I don’t care how old you are, you should watch that show. I’m addicted.

 

Deep Fried Moon Pie On A Stick

 

Bacontinos: bacon-wrapped Totino’s Pizza Rolls

 

Country Breakfast Wrap: scrambled eggs, pork sausage, potatoes and American cheese
rolled inside a buttermilk pancake topped with maple syrup

 

Inside-Out Spaghetti & Meatballs: a giant meatball stuffed with
spaghetti, marinara sauce and ricotta cheese

 

The Plowboy: ham, scrambled eggs and onions over a bed of homefries topped with
sausage gravy, bacon, cheddar and Jack cheese

 

Twinkie Casserole: 24 Twinkies topped with caramel, mini marshmallows, and brown sugar
topped with caramel icing

Would you eat any of this? I can’t decide.

Photos courtesy of This Is Why You’re Fat. Go there to see more yum, yuck, and everything in between.

It’s fall, y’all, and fall begs for warm desserts with lots of cinnamon and nutmeg and, of course, pumpkin. Sometimes it’s hard to think of anything to do with pumpkin outside of pie, so here is my favorite pumpkin recipe: pumpkin chocolate chip bread. It may not sound tasty at first but I promise, it is awesome. It makes a great dessert or breakfast, if you don’t mind a sugary breakfast. And if you’ve never tried to make bread and you’ve heard horror stories, you don’t need to be scared of this recipe; it doesn’t call for yeast and there’s nothing tricky about it.

First, as always, preheat your oven to 350. Grease and flour three 5×9″ loaf pans.

This recipe makes three loaves with no modifications, which I like because then I can keep some and give some away. I imagine you could cut it down by thirds if you wanted to, to make the yield one or two loaves instead; I also imagine leftover batter would freeze pretty well, but I’ve never done either of those things, so don’t quote me on that.

In a large bowl, combine 3 cups of sugar, a 15-oz. can of pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling – big difference!), a cup of vegetable oil, 2/3 cup of water, and 4 eggs.

At this point it looks faintly nasty, but just stick with me. Beat the pumpkin and egg mixture until it looks like this:

Then add 3.5 cups of all-purpose flour, a tablespoon of cinnamon, a tablespoon of nutmeg, 2 teaspoons of baking soda, and 1.5 teaspoons of salt. Whenever I’m making something that calls for cinnamon, I usually add about twice the amount the recipe requires.

I like to use fresh nutmeg too, which looks like this:

Use a paddle grater until you get just so much; measuring it exactly is too much trouble when you’re doing it this way, and a little more than called for isn’t going to hurt anything.

After you’ve grated some of it, the nutmeg looks like this inside:

 

And it smells AH-mazing. I just can’t tell you. 

Mix all of that well, until it’s smooth. (The batter tastes really great, in case you were wondering.) The original recipe calls for chopped walnuts at this point, but it is my personal opinion that nuts are only in the world to ruin perfectly good desserts, so I leave them out. You can add them if you like, I won’t judge you too harshly. When I make this, my dad requests I make one loaf without chocolate chips, because he thinks he’s a special snowflake. If you want your bread plain, go ahead and pour it out into your prepared loaf pan now.

You can see all the spices in the batter and it smells delicious. Now you can fold in about a cup of chocolate chips – morsels or mini chips, semisweet or milk, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you prefer or whatever happens to be in the pantry.

Pour out into your prepared pans. I like to mix some cinnamon and sugar and sprinkle that on top. You want just enough to settle on the batter and bake into the bread; too much and it’ll just fall off when you try to cut it.

Bake those for about an hour, test with a toothpick to make sure they’re done, turn them out of the pans, cut immediately and nom. It’s delicious after it’s cooled, it’s fabulous when it’s hot. Some people like to cover it with butter. The extra cinnamon and sugar on top makes this great crust that adds just a little crunch, and if I let myself I could pick it all off before I even cut a piece.

Plain “punkin” bread:

Chocolate chip “punkin” bread:

Sooooo good.

Do you watch Glee?

If you don’t watch Glee, you won’t get this and you probably won’t need it in your life. But if you do, watch out.

I discovered a tumblr yesterday called Attack of Pedo Will. The writer pulls all kinds of things from the show – lines, screencaps, bits of video, song choices – that illustrate Will Shuester’s barely hidden pedophilia. Y’all, it is absolutely hilarious and makes for one of those “what has been seen cannot be unseen” situations.

Oh Mr. Shue, I’ll never look at you the same way again.

You totally see it now, don’t you? I thought you would.

And just for kicks, one of my favorite recent performances on Glee: Mercedes and Santana singing “River Deep, Mountain High.”

 

Just for the record, I didn’t make and do not own any of the images in this post. All credit goes to Attack of Pedo Will, find more images there!

I’m not going to pretend this feature is Wordless Wednesday anymore, I’m not fooling anyone. We’ll just have Picture Wednesday instead. I don’t know why I even attempted something called Wordless Wednesday when I can never actually be wordless.

I guess it’s just ’cause I *heart* alliteration.

Today’s picture is one I took in December 2009:

That’s the view outside our kitchen window, the day we got our first really good snow in December ’09. If you can believe it, the flakes were even bigger and fluffier than they look in the picture, and they fell that way for a couple hours. The ground was covered with snow inside an hour; I stayed in the kitchen just to watch. It was beautiful! Snow is on my mind today because our FIRST! SNOW! FORECAST! has been given for Friday. As in, the day after tomorrow. November 5 is really almost absurdly early for snow in southeastern Kentucky; my sister’s birthday is November 20 and it isn’t unusual to get our first bit of snowfall right around that date. As far as Friday is concerned, we’re not supposed to get any accumulation but I’m just excited to see actual frozen shiz actually falling from the actual sky.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I really do turn into a five-year-old during this time of year and snow is one of those things I still geek out about even though I’m technically an adult now. When I step outside and see snow falling, feel it blowing cold and wet on my face and against my neck, I get such a thrill. It’s the same feeling I remember having when I was little, when I would wake up and see the blanket of white on the yard outside that hadn’t been there when I went to sleep the night before. It’s the same feeling I got when I saw my school’s name on the news under school closings, when I stepped into the living room on Christmas morning to see the presents arranged around the lit tree, when I sat before the candles on my birthday cake – a mixture of surprise and just this childlike joy that I can’t fully describe. Incidentally, whenever I hear the word joy my first thought is the way I feel when I see it snowing.

Grown-ups aren’t supposed to get excited about snow. By now we ought to be too logical and practical; when we hear a snow forecast we’re supposed to think of all the dangers and inconveniences and plan to stop at the store on the way home from work to stock up on bread, milk and toilet paper. My reaction to snow hasn’t changed in 22 years, and I don’t expect it to anytime soon. And you know what? I don’t want it to change. I think it would be sad to grow up and lose every bit of that wonder and curiosity and, yes, joy about life and the world around us. The world is an amazing place, but after awhile adults get too jaded to wonder at anything anymore.

Look at me, being all deep and philosophical and crap. NaBloPoMo, what have you DONE to me??

Don’t expect this every day, that’s all I can say. It’s bound to run out eventually.

Stalking blogs on the Interwebs is one of my favorite pastimes, and whilst doing so I ran across someone who featured “Wordless Wednesdays” – a pictures-only post every Wednesday. And I thought to myself, “Self? That is cool.” So today begins Wordless Wednesdays here! I can foresee that this is going to be a challenge for me, knowing how much I likey the words. The goal, however, is to post a picture or series of pictures and keep the words to a minimum, giving only the location or date of the picture if it is pertinent. But now I am sensing that this post has too many words! So without further ado …

Cumberland Falls in Corbin, Kentucky

Photo taken by me in May 2010 with my spanking-new, very shiny Nikon Coolpix S4000. I found out later that where I stood to take this picture is where one of my closest friends was proposed to in August 2009. So sweet!


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