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Turkey Day!

Posted on: 11/24/2011

May your turkey be juicy.

May your pies be plentiful.

May your pants be stretchy.

May your turkey comas be comfy.

May your travels all be as peaceful as this guy’s:


Happy Thanksgiving!


This is pathetic, y’all. This, this right here, is why I could never be a really for real writer.

I’ve been thinking the last few days about Christmas. Christmaaaas! Imagine that in Oprah voice and sparkly font, because I don’t know how to do that. (The sparkly font part. I know how to do Oprah voice.) I don’t know what it is, because Christmas-when-it-is-not-Christmas is one of my pet peeves, but I could totally be 100%, head over heels in the Christmas spirit right now. I am resisting so hard, because Thanksgiving comes first and it gets the shaft as it is, so I try to celebrate only one holiday at a time. I’ve managed not to break out the Christmas music yet, although I do have Buble’s new one standing by for Thanksgiving evening. I’ve walked through Walmart’s Christmas section more than once and, so help me, Walmart made me sing along to Frosty the other day. I didn’t want to! The Walmart made me!

This is so weird because last year it took me forrreeeevvvvveerrrrrrrr to get in the Christmas spirit. I don’t even know, y’all, but I was a total Grinch. (Compared to my usual level of festivity, that is.) This year, I am ALL ABOUT IT. Bring on the Christmas, I am READY. I have almost completed my shopping. Don’t hate me because I’m amazing.

Where am I even going with this? … Oh yes, I remember. So I’ve been thinking about Christmas, and as soon as I start thinking in that direction my thoughts turn to food. I do some massive Christmas baking and candy-making and it is just about the most fun part of the whole thing, and this year it’s going to be even FUNNER because I’m making a supply list for Sam’s Club. Have you been to Sam’s? Everyone needs to experience it. I have only been once, but you guys? Sam’s is my new happy place. (Along with Hobby Lobby. In my perfect world, Hobby Lobby and Sam’s live next door to each other just down the block from Disney World.) So I’m planning this trip sometime during the beginning of December, when I’ll go to Sam’s for baking supplies and take my sister to [undisclosed pretty pretty makeup store] to pick out her Christmas present. Basically, it will be just about the best day of my life.

And you think I’m kidding, but I am so not kidding.

It’s mah birfday!

[Well, it was when I started writing this post.]

[Yeah, I haven’t posted anything in a long time. Shut up.]

Another year older, wiser, prettier. And that last one is not only my opinion, it’s Boyfriend’s too. So ha.

I haven’t yet reached the point where birthdays are depressing or otherwise bothersome. I still get excited, I want to celebrate and have others celebrate with me. It’s fun having a day all your own. I have this philosophy about birthdays, which I’ve had for a long time … how long exactly, I don’t even remember. I believe that you should spend your birthday (as far as you are able) in a special place, with people you love, doing things you enjoy – wherever, whomever, whatever that may be. It’s kind of like that New Year’s superstition that says something to the effect of whatever you do on New Year’s Day shapes the rest of your year. It’s similar: if you have a good birthday, you’ll have a good year. I’ve done well in practicing that philosophy today. I spent the day at home – and really, where is better than home? Nowhere, that’s where. I’ve never gone on a vacation and not found myself looking forward to being home again. I spent the day with people I love – Sister was enjoying her billionth snow day, so we were home much of the day, and I spent the evening with the family, Boyfriend, and one of my best friends. It was particularly good to see my friend, because it’s been about a month since we last saw each other and that is just entirely too long. We used to be roommates, and it still feels so wrong not seeing each other! We got lots of quality time talking babies (she’s due in May!) and I got to squee over her baby bump (so cute!). And of course, I’m always glad to steal a little time with Boyfriend. I always heard people say long-distance relationships were tough, but I had no idea how tough it really was. There was a lot of silliness and hugs, both things at which we excel. Time always flies like you would not believe when we’re together.

Ahem. /mush

As for the last part of my philosophy, doing things you enjoy – besides spending time with the people I mentioned, I got to bake and decorate my cake! Most people probably think that baking your own birthday cake is either pathetic or depressing, but for me it totally isn’t. I love to cook, but I especially enjoy baking, and I’m always glad to get an opportunity to make something yummy and try out a new skill; in this case, I worked on a method of cake decorating I hadn’t done before. Nothing too elaborate, but cake decorating is something I’d like to get really good at so I’m trying to learn a little bit at a time. Plus I got a new cake pan for Christmas (a giant cupcake!) and all I needed was an excuse to use it.

Cute, right? I know! (Ignore the runny white icing. I goofed on that a little.)

So I did that, plus I chose to have one of my favorite dinners, and I wore an outfit I am particularly fond of. Not a bad way to start off a year, if you ask me. Then, of course, I got some adorable cards and some gifts I like – but the day would have been just as good without the gifts. I don’t know if I’ve always been this way, I can’t remember from when I was younger, but at least for me now I’m not terribly preoccupied with birthday gifts. (Don’t get me wrong, I still like them – so you don’t have to stop gifting me. Wink.) I think it’s partially due to the fact that my birthday comes so close after Christmas – so I just got a bunch of stuff and I haven’t yet gathered a list of new things I’d like. But really, and this is going to sound so cheesy so I apologize in advance, just having people to celebrate with me, people who care about making my day special and letting me know that I’m loved, that’s the best part of birthdays.

Hey, I told you it was going to be cheesy. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

There’s always the obligatory birthday reflection, too. Does everyone do that? I always find myself thinking back over the year, remembering the highs and lows, trying to determine if I’m different in some way today than I was this time last year. 22 definitely had some highs – I finished my bachelor’s degree (that statement totally feels like a big fat lie, bee tee dubs), I met and fell for Boyfriend, I got my driver’s license. It also had its lows but seriously, nothing thus far can even come close to beating the Great Crohn’s Disease Flare of 2009, so the lows aren’t worth mentioning. I think I’ve grown and matured in the past year; I actually feel like a real live adult occasionally. I’m happier with myself in many ways than I have been for much of my life. As far as 23 is concerned, I’m not at all certain of anything it might bring. I’ve got some prospects and possibilities on the horizon, I’ve got things I’m hoping for and things I’m dreaming of. I am fairly sure that 23 will see graduate school and me striking out on my own a bit. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go and things I want to see, things I want to experience and accomplish, milestones I want to reach – it seems like the list gets longer every day. I’m scared of that list. But as I say goodbye to another birthday and hello to another year, I think I’m more excited than anything.

That title up there? Is kind of how I feel right now. I can’t do much more than that. I woke up with vague feelings of some kind of blarg lurking in the back of my throat and it’s creeping its way up into my sinuses now. It’s a sneaky little blarg, it is. And yeah, it’s been cold (oh my freaking geez has it ever been COLD) but I bundle up! I’m not going out in the snow with wet hair or anything! I love scarves! I live in my peacoat! Gloves are my friends! I look terrible in hats but I adore them so I wear them anyway!

And yet. Blarg.

Did I mention it’s been cold? HOO BOY. Cold. I heard it only got to 29 yesterday. And you know what I did? Got a milkshake, hee. The guy working the drive through at McDonald’s all but told me I was nuts. Like I let that phase me, though. Please. When girlfriend needs a milkshake, GIRLFRIEND NEEDS A MILKSHAKE.

Ooh, did I mention? Well, if you’re my friend on Facebook you already know this. I crossed an item off my List the other day when I got my driver’s license. Yeah yeah, why did I wait so long, blah blah. Suffice it to say I did, and now I wish I hadn’t, but if ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas. Or something.

I need drugs. Of the to-treat-illness variety, not that other kind. Although, if you’re offering … HAAAHAHAHAhahaaa. Ha. Uh.

Oooh, guess what else? I have, like, seven days until I’m done with college. It doesn’t seem real right now so I’m not freaking out, but just you wait. It will come.

Also, the Christmas Baking Extravaganza, version 2010, has commenced. Last night I made caramels and helped Sister make marshmallows, and then Sister made a batch of Oreo truffles, aka dirty snowballs. (Mom came up with the name dirty snowballs, but I don’t think she realized how wrong it sounded at the time. Or maybe she just didn’t anticipate minds like Dad’s, Sister’s and mine, and what we’d do with them.) Also on the agenda for the CBE 2010: more Oreo truffles, peppermint bark, buckeyes, chocolate-covered pretzels and peanut butter crackers, potato candy, peanut butter fudge, mint chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookie cutouts. And there may be something else I’m forgetting. Who knows. I have a list. Plus we have to cut and wrap the caramels (the most tedious job ever), and cut the marshmallows, roll them in powdered sugar, and dip some in chocolate. That is one messy job, y’all. SO FUN. I swear though, it’ll wear you out. By the time we finished cooking and I cleaned up the kitchen last night, I was sure it was at least 10. I look at the clock and what do you think it says? 7:30. Seriously. That is how I ended up asleep at 9. I promise I’m usually much more fun than that.

So! I’m not really going anywhere with this. I’m just waiting until it’s time to go to class, heh. Is anyone interested in any of the recipes I’ve mentioned? If so I’ll be happy to share.


Posted on: 11/19/2010

I spent about three hours this afternoon doing this:

(I like the polka dot cupcake best. It looks like little pearls!)

There are also currently four 14-year-old girls in Sister’s room, which is LOCATED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE right next to my room. My lovely room which houses my lovely bed where I enjoy lovely sleep. Who wants to bet me the lovely sleep will skip out on our date tonight?

I’ve already had to run aforementioned girls out of here once. They were hiding behind the bed and in the closet. I’m not sure what their objective was, but I FOILED IT.

I am now ridiculously tired for 10 pm, so I will proceed to do my best Chad Dylan Cooper imitation: PEACE OUT, SUCKAS!

You know, Chad Dylan Cooper? From Sonny With A Chance? On the Disney Channel? Ringing any bells? 
I don’t care how old you are, you should watch that show. I’m addicted.

I got to work this morning only to discover that I have something on my shirt. Inexplicably, there is a spot. And I have no idea what it could be. I’m hoping this something is not a harbinger of doom for the rest of my day.

[Isn’t harbinger a great word?]

Would you like to hear what I have to do this week? I knew you would.

Monday night: English ETS exam. (Which was a JOKE, OKAY, a JOKE. It was all literature and some of the questions were like, here, read this long random passage of something that was probably written in 1746 and NOW TELL ME WHO WROTE IT. Of all the passages we were given, I personally was familiar with one of them. ONE. (That one was Pride and Prejudice. SCORE ONE FOR AUSTEN.) I don’t know if I should be mad at my department or the person who put together this stupid test and then decided that I needed to take it. I’m leaning toward the test person, as I don’t know them and my department is full of lovely people.)

Tuesday night: Cumberland Singers fall concert. (Which went well, in spite of the usual heat and uncomfortable dress. I had hoped to have a video to post but my whole family refused to film anything for me. Jerks.) Plus I had to squeeze in a little cuddle time with Boyfriend. I’ve got priorities, y’all.

Wednesday night: Baking a birthday cake and cupcakes and working on a paper in between putting things in the oven and taking them out. (My sister’s turning 14 this weekend and a sleepover shindig is going down at the hizz-ouse. But, you guys, the cake! I’m going to use FONDANT and it’s going to be FANCY. Chocolate cake, white icing with purple stars and black sparkles. And giant strawberry cupcakes with some combination of white, purple and black sparkles. You better believe pics will be posted. If I can make it look like it looks in my head, you will DIE of cute.)

Thursday night: middle school All-Festival choir concert. (Yeah, my sister made All-Festival. And from how proud I am you would think I was her mother. All-Fest is the second most elite area choir, second to All-State, for which Sister is also auditioning. I did All-Fest in high school and auditioned for All-State but never made it, as sopranos are, sadly, thick on the ground. Sister’s auditioning as an alto so her chances are probably slightly better.)

Friday night: aforementioned sleepover. (Ten middle school-aged girls … and two boys, but they have to leave because we can’t have boys at our sleepover, duh. I have been instructed to load Sister’s iPod with a sleepover dance party mix and, of course, I’m the head pastry chef. But I may have to go out and bunk with the dog if I want to get any sleep.)

Saturday: Sister’s actual birthday. (For which we have made no real plans because we have too much to do before we can even think about that. Food will be involved, probably. And presents, I imagine. In any case there will be CAKE! CUTE CAKE!)


Deep Fried Moon Pie On A Stick


Bacontinos: bacon-wrapped Totino’s Pizza Rolls


Country Breakfast Wrap: scrambled eggs, pork sausage, potatoes and American cheese
rolled inside a buttermilk pancake topped with maple syrup


Inside-Out Spaghetti & Meatballs: a giant meatball stuffed with
spaghetti, marinara sauce and ricotta cheese


The Plowboy: ham, scrambled eggs and onions over a bed of homefries topped with
sausage gravy, bacon, cheddar and Jack cheese


Twinkie Casserole: 24 Twinkies topped with caramel, mini marshmallows, and brown sugar
topped with caramel icing

Would you eat any of this? I can’t decide.

Photos courtesy of This Is Why You’re Fat. Go there to see more yum, yuck, and everything in between.

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