Shy Girl Blogs

Failure

Posted on: 11/12/2011

I am one.

I blame the system! The man is getting me down!

… Actually, school is eating my brain. Over the past couple weeks I’ve had two group project presentations to prepare for, and one ginormous assignment to do. Once I finally finished those, I barely had brain waves enough to enable me to function on the most basic level.

Y’all, grad school is a whole ‘nother animal. I’ve been in school for almost 20 years total (oh dear sweet Jesus, that is depressing) but I don’t ever remember feeling physically exhausted upon finishing an assignment or a class session. Now, that’s a regular thing. Once I finish a class meeting, I feel like someone has literally taken out my mind and strrrrrreeeetttttccchhhhed it just as far as it will go, and then put it back in. I continue to be amazed by just how much stuff the information science field encompasses, and how much I need to know and be prepared for when I become a practitioner instead of a student. I came into this thinking I needed to learn how to have story time for kiddies … things like collection development, censorship and intellectual freedom, computer systems, management, ethics – none of that ever entered my mind. Not to mention my newfound interest in reference librarianship!

And another weird thing? Although the work itself is certainly not easy, doing the work is easier. It’s endlessly fascinating and I enjoy what I’m learning and I’m so eager to learn more, the act of getting my work done and going to class is easier than it was in college or high school. I’m trying my best to finish up and graduate as quickly as possible, but I could easily stay another year and just keep taking classes. I actually felt disappointed at how many classes were offered but couldn’t be squeezed into two years.

What have they done to me, you guys. Who have I become? I DO NOT EVEN RECOGNIZE MYSELF.

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