Here is how awesome I am
Hi, I’m Leslie, and I’m a procrastinator.
Of all the stupid things I do … and I do a lot of stupid things … procrastinating is the one thing I do not understand and do not see the point in doing. And yet I do it.
Case in point: today I had two different assignments I could work on. (reference: yay!) (cataloging: boo!) Neither is the longest assignment I’ve been given this semester. I didn’t get a sub call for today so I was home alone, except for the Cheese Puff (that would be the puppy, Queso. Queso … Cheese Puff … see what we did there?) I do my best work when the house is empty and I can turn up the music as loud as it goes. So, conditions were right. Group members were waiting on my answers for one of the assignments, and we’re having a meeting about it tomorrow. So what do I do?
I mop the floor. I unload, reload, and start the dishwasher. I clean the remnants of Sister’s Halloween costume off the kitchen table. I bathe the puppy. I make lunch plans with a friend.
I do this even though I know, I know, that when a due date is looming and I do nothing about it, it worries me to death. All I can think about is the assignment and how I’m not doing the assignment and how I should be doing the assignment. I feel guilty for doing whatever I’m doing that is not the assignment. I lie awake at night thinking about how I didn’t do the assignment today and I really need to do it tomorrow, no seriously, I really do. I plan my entire day around the assignment and schedule time in which to do it and write myself notes in all caps in my planner.
Just sitting down and doing the darn thing is much better for my mental health than putting it off, clearly, and yet I continue to put things off. Whenever I’m faced with something I don’t want to do, my first reaction is to want to dive into bed, hide my head under the pillow and hope it will go away. Even though yes, I know, it won’t go away if I hide from it.
Fooling people into thinking I’m a grown up is really exhausting, you guys.