Shy Girl Blogs

Right in front of your face

Posted on: 02/19/2009

So … this will be kind of trite. But hey, it happens.

Lots of things in my life are changing, or getting ready to change in the near future. This has been all I can think about for the past week, and this afternoon as I was cleaning my room and doing dishes and all that fun stuff before room check, I was listening to my iPod. Naturally I turned on Josh, and after awhile the song “Awake” came on. Now I have probably heard “Awake” at least 253.4 billion times, but today I sat there, singing along, looking out the window, and that song just touched me in a way it never has before, especially the second verse:

If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

This is the part that really got me, because it is so me. I don’t like change; never have. I like order and routine and always knowing what I’m doing and where I’m going. Right now in my life, I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going beyond the immediate future. I always want things to stay as they are, even though I’ve learned they can’t.

Change is inevitable, and “you can fight it, or you can rock out to it.” But there’s nothing wrong with remembering things that have passed, so you’ve got to store up all the memories you can now. Sometimes I think about that and I get worried that I don’t have enough time, it’s all going by too fast and I’m going to miss it.

Keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can’t stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

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